| Assumptions
and Attitudes Necessary for Good Communication
We must be committed to communication.
We must be convinced that we are a gift to be
given, and that through their self-disclosure others are a gift
offered to us.
We must be determined to be honest with
ourselves.
Guidelines for the Successful Practice of Sharing Oneself
(Speaking)
In sharing ourselves with others, we must
always take full responsibility for our own actions and reactions. As a consequence of this, we will make “I statements,”
not “You statements.”
We must speak only for ourselves. In communicating I should make it clear that I am speaking
only my truth, not the truth.
We must share all our significant feelings with
those to whom we are relating.
We must be courageous enough to share our
personal vulnerabilities with one another.
We should express gratitude to our listeners.
Guidelines for the
Successful Practice of Accepting the Sharing of Another (Listening)
We should be “present” and “available”
to others who offer to share themselves with us.
We should accept others wherever they are.
We must listen attentively to learn the
“inner consistency” of others.
We must not indulge in mind reading by judging
the intentions and motives of others.
We should register emphatic and reassuring
reactions to others when they are sharing themselves with us.
We should clarify the message that is being
delivered, trying always to understand accurately the meaning of
others.
In the role of listener we should offer only
suggestions and never directions.
As listeners we should avoid all blocks to
communication.
We should explicitly thank those who have
shared themselves with us.
General Practices
That Promote Good Interpersonal Communication
Good communication requires that the
communicators spend special or quality time together.
Touching is an important form of communication.
To become more effective communicators we must
“stretch” beyond our “comfort zones.”
We must be ready to apologize when an apology
is appropriate and helpful.
We must avoid a buildup of tension.
At times of crises in communication we will
need to use special approaches.
Whether speaking or listening, the motive of
the good communicator must always be love.
We
should pray for the enlightenment and the courage to communicate
well.
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